Straight guys always ask why girls can so easily be sexual with gay guys, but not with them, this is exactly why! I can easily kiss my friend Brian and I know that neither side will ever get hurt because we both KNOW where we stand. We both know that neither side will develop feelings from that kiss. And most importantly, it will not ruin the friendship.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Oh, boys
I found the part in chapter 9 on platonic relationships interesting. I am a girl with almost no girl-friends. Most of my friends are guys. They are easier to get along with for me. But as the book talks about, there are certain barriers. I do not want either side to get hurt, mostly the other side, because for the most part, I know who I can develop feelings for and who I will not, but I don't know what my actions might do to their feelings. So there are barriers I cannot cross with a lot of my guy friends. With some I can cuddle in a plutonic way, but with others thats too much. I can flirt, but only to a certain limit, not anything that will give anyone a too strong impression.
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For platonic relationship, there is that line you can't cross because you're afraid the other person might misinterpret your intentions, I agree. The way I see it, the biggest difference between a straight and gay platonic relationship is that with the gay friend, there is no possibility that you will get involved romantically with him, so it's like a free pass. You can be free to really express yourself. The flip side to that is, with your straight friends you need to be more cautious, but a way around that is being explicit with that friend. If and when you get close enough to them to explicitly talk about the relationship, you can tell him you only consider him a friend and that might allow you to be more expressive without creating an misunderstanding.
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